Hahaha... hahahaha... really it's not that... hahaha... funny.

I felt like you would think this was useful

You don't gnome me

Pure accident brought me here.

I'm not sure if I'm horrified or entertained.

The List

Yah, this is cheating.  I'm self-plagiarizing; that's a concept and word that I thought I had just created.  However, a quick Google search revealed that this term already exists:

"Self-plagiarism (also known as "recycling fraud") is the reuse of significant, identical, or nearly identical portions of one’s own work without acknowledging that one is doing so or without citing the original work."

So, I guess I was trying to plagiarize the term "self-plagiarizing"??  No, wait... that doesn't make sense.

Anyway, I think it's totally okay for me to self-plagiarize because this list should be here and we should add to it.  Besides, the fact that I mentioned that it's self-plagiarism actually makes it so that it's not.  Are you lost, yet?

Here's the list...

“I wish I was an ocean, baby...” 
Asians
the time I told you the story about not understanding a word people say and you responded, “What?” 
dancing at the casino and that MF pimp 
we hate babies 
PTRSD 
beads in your shampoo bottle 
True Story 
fuck Leonardo DiCaprio, he sucks. But, he was pretty good in that one movie... 
completely functional combined ADD  
Christmas cards with pictures of your car instead of kids 
me obsessing over the black streaks on your kitchen floor 
Dutch 
5 million dollars 
I hope to one day be as captivating as your iPhone  
"I'm having an identity crisis" 
vajazzle your merkin 
I missed you but I’m improving my aim 
Tacos 
Choose your own adventure 
that time I couldn’t open a bottle of conditioner 
your caterpillar poem 
"I feel like a steak in a pool of sharks" 
having a blast watching one of the worst movies ever: Prince of Persia 
MF 
$30 double shots of Patron 
“Your Mom”  
drifting in the parking garage 
<3 
my free YMCA membership that you inadvertently got me 
“We’ll just tell this guy we’re together. Yah, that should add an entire new level of confusion.” 
introspecting into a blackhole 
our 9+ lives
the Hot Wheels track by World of Beer
testing all of the accessories on your M3 in front of my house
talking on the phone... what’s that? 
Netflix thinks I’m a dyke; my phone thinks that I have chlamydia 
“stop swimming in cups” 
grammar lessons 
a 5 page article about ADD, yah... right. 
stars, moons, rainbows and lollipops 
Playlist Recall Syndrome 
"Well, I don't want to be in a relationship." "Yah, me neither!" 
cell phone networks conspiring against us 
my pirate hooker dream 
your dragon 
my misuse of the apostrophe 
our turn signals are in sync 
“Snails see the benefits. The beauty in every inch.” 
It’s Hollish beer!! 
my MF orrery 
realizing why they have all of those globes at New World Brewery 
why do we collect voice mails? 
“Oh, I ate asparagus!” 
my inability to operate your front door and your car door 
riding a motorcycle after sex is like trying to operate the space shuttle 
that Asian scientist that we both wanted to communicate with but couldn’t MF understand 
our good fortune not canceling each other’s out
me telling you, “Riding a horse is dangerous.” 
Super Mario Bros. 3 
you kissing on some random guy at your Gasparilla party 
your love of the semicolon 
I’m gonna write your name on my Trapper Keeper 
trying to have a serious conversation and your MF iPhone dropping the call 4 times in a row 
that bro at New World with serious plumber’s crack 
the stingy bead bitch on the St. Patty’s day parade float 
your affinity to flying saucers 
me repeating the same story 20 times
"What happened to his leg? I mean I don't care what happened to his leg. I mean I don't give a fuck, but in a good way." 
my necklace that should be used to plug the BP oil spill
“If I had to choose, I’d take the goat.”
Richard Simmons at the 2 Live Crew concert
One nightstand
the DeLorean
our clones
"Pairing Unsuccessful"
Getting verbally handcuffed by my hilarious friend in Ybor
Kool-Aid flavored pussy and chocolate flavored semen, uhm, yah... we've discussed these things

New Ish

So, I've been redlining my brain for the past 6 hours and I'm in hour number 15 of this looooooooong ass Monday-turned-Tuesday.  I might not be the best judge of, well, anything... but, this sounds good to me right now:

DJ Santana at The Kennedy 11-05-2010

He kicks some Stonebridge early on *and* he rolls into a remix of Rapture that worked for me.  I'm only about 20 minutes in but I'm diggin it so far.

We're awesome!  Yep.

Nerdcore

I have a text file that I just found of funny lyrics.  This is pretty epic and makes me laugh:

What's wrong MC Plus Plus, am I making you nervous?

Even skanky fat hoes give you denial of service.

I control my flow better than TCP

I rep the west coast like Eazy-E

My flow is so intense that I will overflow your buffer

Corrupt your stack pointer makin' all your data suffer

While you smoke your crack pipe I'm gonna pipe you to /dev/null

I may not have a label but I rap like a star

I'm an unsigned long int and you're an 8-bit char

Your mom circulates like a public key

Servicing more requests than HTTP

She keeps all her ports open like Windows ME

My lyrics get stolen by sucker MCs

I gotta sign my rhymes with PGP

But I keep on generatin' like a CFG

I'm encrypting sh*t like every single day

sending it across a network in a safe way

protecting messages to make my pay

if you hack me you're guilty under DMCA

Dick Tator

How come we don't go to the movies anymore?

Ugh, it was painful to type that title and it's even slightly more painful to leave it that way.  I sincerely hope that you realize it's a reference to an earlier post and know that I would never phrase a question like that if there wasn't an underlying joke or meaning.  Seriously, I don't know if I can leave it.

Recover!

I was thinking that I might want to see Saw 3D or maybe 127 Hours.  127 Hours is probably better than Saw 3D but I won't want to see Saw 3D once it's not in theaters anymore. 

Oh, and I guess I should watch all 50 of the Harry Potter movies with a quickness.  My Mom owns them; I'll get on that (watching the movies, not my Mom).

Shall we discuss this?

Let's Talk Politics

A good satirical opener to this:
http://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/e0wxd/now_that_the_republicans_have_control_of_the/

Okay, so the republicans swept the election.  I'm very annoyed by this fact for several reasons:

1) A lot of people are stupid and voted republican just because they think Barack is doing something wrong (yes, I'm on first name basis with him) which is all based on what the mob started screaming with nothing to back them up.  I want to ask every Floridian, "WHY DID YOU VOTE FOR A KNOWN CRIMINAL?"  The only reason I can think of anyone voting for Scott is because they didn't actually do any research on him and just bought into the 'Palin said Obama was bad, so we should vote against the Democratic party' and other sound bite bullshit.  That's a great thing to base your leadership on.

2) I didn't check any national numbers, but in Florida there was about 1/3 of the registered voters that actually showed up to the polls to vote.  There is no way of knowing what the majority of the people want when almost 2/3 of them don't go to the poll!  The only bishes motivated enough to vote seemed to be the ones spurred by hate mongering.  I want to start a movement towards compulsory voting to force the complacent and happy out there to support what is currently working for them and to invest in and pay attention to those that we're allowing to run our government and make our laws.

3) I MFing hate that campaigns are focused on the negative instead of what a candidate can actually do to make this country a better place to live and why they are qualified.  I'm so sick and tired of elections being about 'tearing the other person down' in all the advertisements instead of how they can 'lift our society up' and I strongly feel that this should be changed (banned) or eventually our country is doomed.  If in each election, you divide the people on hate, they won't just automatically reunify behind whoever wins.  The divisions are so deep seated with hatred and disgust that if you believe either candidate and the other one wins, how on earth can you be the least bit appreciative of said elected person.  I wish they'd ban this behavior and let the 'dirty things' about a candidate get leaked out through other avenues rather than be a directed assault by someone competing for that position.  You can't build a strong society out of hate!  There are still an incredible number of people that believe the hate spread by republicans during the 2008 election and think that Obama is a bomb toting Muslim that's here to destroy our country.  THIS SICKENS ME!

4) Current hate for big government!  Okay, well... go ahead and hate big government all day every day and yet scream about how the military needs to be bigger! Maybe if the republicans were running things we could get into some more wars that will raise the deficit trillions of dollars, but we're the modern day republican party that's going to scream doom and gloom because those MFing democrats are raising the quality of life in our country.  FUUUUUUCK!  That baby doesn't need shots, we got a bomb to build!

5)  Lastly... LMAO!  I'm a modern day republican that is going to publicly scream that we should cut taxes for the rich because it will trickle down.  You don't cut taxes for wealthy people to make this happen jackholes... you give tax breaks for new employees hired (the BUSINESS investing in American citizens).  You also need to close big tax loopholes for huge business like Google and such that reroutes it's money through Ireland and then to Switzerland getting out of retardedly large tax obligations and you need to put a tax penalty in place for outsourcing to other countries.

I detest our political system at the moment and I sure hope that some of these idiots open their eyes and look at reality and facts rather than listen to idiots like Palin and her 'momma grizzly' sound bites.  Those that seek power are typically the ones that don't deserve it.  She's a perfect example.